{"id":6874,"date":"2022-02-15T07:19:21","date_gmt":"2022-02-15T07:19:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/covaicare.com\/blog\/?p=6874"},"modified":"2022-02-15T07:19:22","modified_gmt":"2022-02-15T07:19:22","slug":"marriages-are-made-in-heaven-but-we-make-it-happen-on-earth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/covaicare.com\/blog\/marriages-are-made-in-heaven-but-we-make-it-happen-on-earth\/","title":{"rendered":"MARRIAGES ARE MADE IN HEAVEN BUT WE MAKE IT HAPPEN ON EARTH"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I belong to a generation where \u201carranged marriages\u201d were in vogue. \u201cMarriages are made in heaven\u201d and I add, \u201cwe make or break our marriages on earth!\u201d In good old (what else but old?) days, child marriages were common. It still is, though we are arguing about marriageable age for men and women should be 21 years!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An elder man (not woman) living on the street or village would suggest (defacto order!) \u201cwhy not Mani get his son married to Sundaram\u2019s daughter?\u201d The bride would be around 6 -8 years and the groom around 12 or 13 years! The wedding invitation in Tamil had the sentence, \u201cPeriorgalal nichiyakka pattu\u201d meaning, \u201cas decided by the elders!\u201d Today, who cares for the elders except ASLI members!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My father got married to my mother when he was 22 years, and my mom was 18 years of age! One day I asked my father, after I was a commissioned officer in the army, \u201cwhat he saw in Amma?\u201d His answer was, \u201cI wanted a wife who could manage my joint family. Your mother was being brought up by her uncle after your grandmother died when she was about 6 years. I knocked on her uncle\u2019s house in Vellore. Your mother opened the door and yelled that uncle was not at home and shut the door\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One day, when I was on annual leave, I accompanied my father for his morning walk. I was a young Captain and was about 27 years. I told him that he was not doing his duty as a father! He was baffled and said, \u201cwhat is wrong with you? What duty have I not performed as a father?\u201d I reminded him of his age when he got married and my age then! He said, \u201cevery time you came on leave for the past three years, you showed different girl\u2019s photograph to your mother, and told her that she would be our daughter in law!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am still waiting to know who she is so that I can fulfill my duty?\u201d. I told him, \u201cIt was always one-way traffic. None of them wanted to break with tradition!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Being a journalist, he swung into action! Matrimonial advertisements were given in The Times of India, Bombay (now Mumbai), The Statesman, Calcutta (now Kolkata), The Hindustan Times, New Delhi and
The Hindu, Madras (now Chennai)! He was meticulous and opened a file and replied each \u201cenquiry\u201d with his typewriter (I have it with me!).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was in Bombay spending some of my vacation in March 1976 with my sister (Malathi), brother-in-law(Krishnan) and my nephew (Arun) who was a baby. My father and mother would call Malathi or Krishnan and give the name of a prospective Bahu, her \u201cbio data\u201d and her parents\u2019 contact details. My father would have already corresponded with the girl\u2019s family, exchanged the girl\u2019s and my photographs and, shortlist the possible match for their ladla beta!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Krishnan would fix the meeting with the girl\u2019s father. On a selected date and time, all four of us would go to see the girl and her family in Krishnan\u2019s car. This is known in Tamil as \u201cpenn parkarthu!\u201d And I ensured that I carried Arun when we entered the girl\u2019s house to impress the girl and her family as to what a great family man I was!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The first girl that I saw was decked up in gold and diamonds. Her father was owner of some SME. I disliked gold, diamonds and exhibition of one\u2019s wealth! The girl hardly spoke and there was nothing like, \u201cwould both of you sit in the balcony and speak to each other!\u201d Her mother was very jovial and talkative. Her father was obviously quiet, since in a house only one of them can speak to show who is the authority! After the usual coffee and some snacks (called as Sojji Bajji in Tamil), it was time to leave!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Malathi and Krishnan never expressed their opinion on our way back until I gave mine! I said, \u201cI do not like the walking – talking Fort Knox, but the girl\u2019s mother!\u201d Fort Knox is the place where the US Treasury keeps its gold reserve! Malathi and Kannan were aghast but immediately concurred with my opinion about the girl (not her mother). On our way back home, we bought two bottles of beer to drown my sorrow! On return, my parents were informed that the girl was not fortunate to be part for our family! Male chauvinism?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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After a couple of days, we went to see the second prospective bahu! Her father arranged the meeting ina four-star hotel in Mumbai. Four-star hotel. Wow! We met the girl, her parents and her married sister with a child. The girl used the phrase \u201ccome on\u201d after almost every alternate sentence. I thought that she must be
going for horse racing in Mahalakshmi in Bombay, where you would hear so many \u201ccome ons,\u201d cheering the horse on which you bet! As a young Captain with Rs 1000\/- as my salary, I imagined how I would be able to afford such luxuries like horse racing, if I married that girl. When it was time to leave, we left stating that \u201cwe will revert.\u201d In the car, I told Malathi and Krishnan about my apprehensions and that I liked the girl\u2019s sister! My sister hit me on my head for such thoughts. Two bottles of beer returned home and drowned my sorrow!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The third girl that we went to see was distantly related to my aunt. My aunt talked about this girl, her family and suggested that I go and meet her (not see). Her father was a senior employee of the Tatas. Off we went to meet her in their house.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As usual I carried Arun. We entered and after some basic introductions, I saw the girl. I got extra blood pumping in my heart. During the Sojji -Bajji time, the girl\u2019s mother, Malathi and Krishnan were talking to each other and I did not speak. The only question I asked the girl was, \u201cwhat have you studied?\u201d Promptly came the answer, \u201cB Com, Stella Maris!\u201d Her name is Chitra. I told my Malathi and Krishnan that I like Chitra. We celebrated with two bottles of beer!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was undergoing a career course of 13 months in Deolalinear Nashik, which is the Gunner\u2019s Home. My parents flew down from New Delhi, went to Chitra\u2019s house andtook her out for dinner! Next day, I called Malathi from an STD booth, spoke to my father and mother. They said, \u201cChitra is the ideal bahu for the family!\u201d Rest is history. We got married on 18 June 1976 and these 46 years, Chitra has been with me, seen my ups and downs in my life. Supported me in all my major decisions including, throwing away a promising career in the army and choosing our second Innings. When I once asked her what she saw in me when we met, she said, \u201cyou did not speak when we met. How you fooled me!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I do not realize how the time has flown. We have two brilliant daughters who chose their life-partners and have given us two adorable granddaughters. My father would have been proud of his granddaughters, since they did not give any headache to their parents, when it came to their marriages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, marriages are made in heaven and we make
it happen on earth<\/strong>. Our journey continues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Colonel Achal Sridharan
Founder & Managing Director, CovaiCare<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An article originally published in – ASLI NUGGETS February, 2022<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I belong to a generation where \u201carranged marriages\u201d were in vogue. \u201cMarriages are made in heaven\u201d and I add, \u201cwe make or break our marriages on earth!\u201d In good old (what else but old?) days, child marriages were common. It still is, though we are arguing about marriageable age for men and women should be … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6877,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/covaicare.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6874"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/covaicare.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/covaicare.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/covaicare.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/covaicare.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6874"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/covaicare.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6874\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6888,"href":"https:\/\/covaicare.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6874\/revisions\/6888"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/covaicare.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6877"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/covaicare.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6874"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/covaicare.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6874"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/covaicare.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6874"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}