In our twilight years, companionship and social bonding become our most faithful companions.
Haruki Murakami reminds us,
“No matter how far you travel, you can never get away from yourself.”
Yet in senior communities across the world, people are realising that while we can’t escape ourselves, we can transform our lifestyle through the simple yet profound act of caring for one another.
Time has different meanings in senior communities. Our bodies become like aging cars: “If my body were a car, I’d trade it in for a newer model – every cough is a radiator leak, every sneeze a backfiring exhaust.” But it’s precisely these moments of shared weaknesses that enliven us with the most beautiful expressions of compassion.
The Language of Understanding
In a senior community, compassion speaks in many languages:
- The silent and grieving presence beside a newly widowed neighbour.
- The shared joys of small victories: first steps with a new knee, a new walker or the weekly video calls with children and grandchildren.
- The help offered to neighbours for urgent needs, visits to hospitals, eat-outs and supermarkets, that become a part of our daily conversations.
- Sharing “You, me, family”, fun and sad stories with your spouse and children.
- Repeating the same stories, reminding ourselves that we need to preserve those precious memories.
Travel Tracks
Our life may run on slow tracks, maybe our steps become shorter and more tentative, but our shared paths make them seem lighter and brighter. In the process, we realise that we may have travelled across cities and countries, but our daily life with our friends and neighbours is where our home truly lies.
The essence of life’s journey as we grow from childhood to adult years to where we are today is captured beautifully in this quote.
“Life, unlike a conventional train or bus journey, lacks a fixed destination; it’s a continuum of experiences, love, and self-discovery, underscored by the importance of companionship and humaneness.”
Let us delve into the metaphor of a train journey. During long train or bus journeys, conversations come alive with strangers seated beside us or those seeking assistance with their seat or luggage. In these moments, personal details like names become secondary to shared destinations, transcending barriers of age, caste, or race.
Travel friends do not investigate societal norms, are not interested in financial status or occupational titles. They cherish company regardless. Diversity, cultural insights, exchange of stories, shared food – help build bridges and relish the exchange of stories. Senior homes in a sense are also great equalisers, though a number of us still live behind the robes of corporate status or authority, but that is one of life’s great quirks.
Travel offers a great chance to reminisce. Seniors are often eager to share stories from a time when train travel was far more glamorous. “Ah, in my day, first class compartments were like one bedroom apartments, with their own rest rooms.” And while it’s easy to chuckle at these stories, the shared nostalgia helps to build an unspoken bond between strangers. These tales, spun with humor and a touch of sentimentality, bring the past into the present in a way that feels that it comes from the heart.
My favourite repeated story – travelling in a steam engine, yes engine, when I was seventeen (over sixty years ago), with the engine driver and his fireman – between Raichur and Mantralayam Road – is still a vivid picture frame in my memory. And the engine driver, a kindly old Anglo Indian, told me “ son, this could cost me my job if anyone finds out”. God keeps him alive for me.
Life, like a train ride, full of twists and turns, unexpected detours, and delightful discoveries along the way. Do you remember the time when the train passed through a tunnel, the darkness gave us a jolt? Life is the same, but all of us have heard the phrase “ Light at the end of the tunnel”.
Fellow travelers, in a train or in our life are united by a common love for exploration, forge unique bonds and find their own space of joy and companionship.
Yet, the inescapable reality of traveling lies in bidding farewell to these friends, even though we know that there is little chance of meeting them again. Despite the sorrow of parting ways, the memories forged endure as cherished souvenirs of shared experiences. Haven’t we been there and done that in senior communities?
A journey to cherish
In life, we often encounter different “passengers” at various stages. School and college friends, colleagues at work, acquaintances from family and social events – each person adds their own little contribution to the journey. But as we grow older, some of those passengers might get off the train. Children move away, relatives and old friends die, and work colleagues find their own lives outside ours.
How do we continue the journey when some of our fellow travellers are no longer with us?
One solution lies in keeping yourself occupied by finding new connections—much like striking up a casual conversation with someone on a train. Seniors who embrace companionship, be it from new friendships or rekindling old ones, can find their days enriched, much like the random interactions that unfold on a train ride.
Life’s most beautiful journey is not about the destinations we reach, but the companions we cherish and the understanding we cultivate along the way. In our sunset years,the warmth that comes from the hearts beside us is the best thing that happens in our lives.
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By
Mr V Krishnan
Covai S3 Retirement Community