Through the sands of time, the same story, viewed through the lens of two generations.
Let’s look at a quick flashback – in fact this meandering tale of mine will be in several quick cuts and flashbacks, much like Indian movies where the hero is in the same school as the heroine and wants her to be his life companion (anything is possible if you leave your senses outside the movie hall). Decades later, they meet and after turmoil, intrigue, villains, comedy relief and drama, they find their love in each other’s arms and live happily ever after.
“The weaving “In and out” may also result in pronouns being mixed and used in a manner that may alarm the puritan, but I will take shelter behind citing generational changes in grammar.
Two Worlds, One Story
Here we are, sitting in the living room of our retirement colony – or a studio apartment in New York – it doesn’t matter. Imagine sitting with your parents, bridging the gap between generations – not as a divide, but as a beautiful,harmonious symphony of transformation. And this is not about change, but of synthesis of emotion and practicality, where values and culture reinvent themselves, and yet retain the oneness that is unique to our families.
Every moment is a treasured memory
Back in time, in the era of our young parents, life was choreographed and structured by our family. School,college, vocation, vacation and career were a matter for the family to decide. An engineer we would be, even if we did not know the difference between a foot scale and a vernier calliper. Even if we puked at the blood of a pin prick, we were destined to be a member of the medical fraternity. If your father was a Government officer, your destination as an I.A..S. officer was confirmed. Family was the Supremo. Actors and politicians are the favourites of this generation. Career success meant loyalty – one life, one job – rather than passion or progression.
The landline was more than a communication device – it was the nervous system of the household (pun intended). If you needed to talk to your grandfather in another city, a P P (person to person), urgent call or a lightning call, and a wait near the phone with your hand on your head was probably the best thing to do. That jewel is now in the safe deposit locker of our memory. I am not even going near ration cards, milk tokens and sugar rationing.
The limitations of enchanting experiences
Family gatherings were like “Big Boss” or “We the People” shows. Twelve cousins, three grandparents, two sets of uncles and aunts – all under one roof, with kids lined up on the floor like a school dormitory.Privacy was an unknown word in the family dictionary.
Romance played out in stolen glances at family functions and secret notes passed like messages between carrier pigeons. Temples and churches doubled as meeting grounds for young hearts. Love’s journey inevitably led through astrologers and family negotiations.
The New Landscape
Today’s generation celebrates differences. Education is academics plus. It is passion beyond imagination. We create our own path and our own vocation. Technology has become an extension of ourselves. A 22 year old sips a cup of coffee at Starbucks and launches a start-up from an idea born on a paper tissue. Traditional narratives are passé. We live in a borderless world, global communication is a click away and one social media post can be life changing. We’ve transformed from a generation of followers to a generation of creators.
Romance? Dating apps have replaced chance encounters. Marriage? Live-in relationships challenge traditional norms. Family exists in WhatsApp groups, where emotions flow through emojis and memes. Parents navigate this shift, some grudgingly, others embracingly, but all acknowledging the new normal.
Not shaken, not stirred
To borrow a phrase from James Bond movies and mix the phrase, both GenThen and GenNext are quite comfortable and the depth of emotions have not changed. We are not shaken by the changes, as our lives have evolved in front of us and we have lived through each change. We are not stirred either, because life after sixty is a haven of peace if you choose it to be that.
However, the physicalities have gone through dramatic changes. Landlines are dead. We have found new languages of expression, like Family WhatsApp Group Chats and Video Calls, with the added bonus of all this coming without a cost. Not to mention Instagram, which turns an impulse into a photo book. Careers are taking new and innovative paths and the engineer of yesterday is the technocrat of today, and more likely,an entrepreneur. The doctor that we envisioned is a fashion designer or an animal activist.
We are globally connected, yet long for our local flavours, both culinary and cultural. We are exposed to an overload of information, but are likely to be superficial in our understanding. We have “Modernized” and yet struggle to find the identity we were born with.
We breathe technology and grapple with the complexity that it brings. Straddling between two worlds, geographically, metaphysically and emotionally. We are expanding our parents’ world by reimagining it and creating new stories.
Despite the revolutionary changes in our lives and lifestyle, we still crave for the small moments that are delightfully consistent. Mom’s home cooked food, festivals, feasts of tradition and our photo album of life.
Generational shifts have profound practical, emotional, and spiritual impacts on seniors. Practically, these changes often mean adapting to new technologies and societal norms. Emotionally, generational shifts can evoke a sense of loss or displacement. Seniors may feel that the world has changed in ways they can’t fully engage with, or that their values and ways of life are no longer relevant. Many seniors turn inward, contemplating their life’s meaning and their connection to the new generation. Some may find solace in embracing newer spiritual practices or prayer, guiding them to accept and adapt to changes with grace and purpose.
That, in essence, is the orchestra of human experience, and the ability to create a harmonious experience.
Generations are not competing – they’re conversing.
By
Mr V Krishnan
Covai S3 Retirement Community